Ruby Irons

Finding balance with PMDD isn’t about reaching a perfect endpoint – it’s about learning to navigate the ups and downs while continuing to move forward. As I write this, I’m in the middle of transitioning from Sertraline to Bupropion, and I’m being reminded just how delicate this balance can be.

The Medication Dance

Managing PMDD through medication isn’t as simple as finding a pill that works and sticking with it forever. Bodies change, side effects emerge, and sometimes what worked before stops being the best solution. In my case, while Sertraline helped manage my PMDD symptoms effectively, its impact on my libido led to the decision to try Bupropion instead.

This transition has been challenging. Coming off Sertraline has meant dealing with the return of intense emotions and quick, sharp responses that I can’t seem to filter. Even knowing what’s happening doesn’t make it easier to control. I find myself being unpleasant to be around – particularly to my patient husband – and while I can see and hear myself being difficult, I struggle to stop it in the moment.

The Challenge of Change

Changing medications requires a special kind of patience – both with the process and with yourself. Two weeks into Bupropion, I’m already reaching out to my healthcare provider about adjusting the dosage. It’s frustrating to feel like I’m sliding backward, but I remind myself that this is part of the journey. Finding the right balance takes time, and it’s okay to need adjustments along the way.

Learning to Navigate

Through this journey, I’ve learned several crucial lessons about managing PMDD:

1. Sleep is non-negotiable. Lack of sleep amplifies every symptom and makes it harder to implement any other coping strategies.
2. Recognizing when you need solitude is vital. Sometimes you need quiet time to reset, and that’s okay.
3. Communication with partners and healthcare providers must be ongoing and honest. When something isn’t working, speaking up is essential.
4. Support systems matter. Having people who understand and support you through the difficult periods makes a tremendous difference.

The Reality of Management

Living with PMDD means accepting that some days will be harder than others. It means developing an awareness of your triggers and learning to recognize when you need to implement coping strategies. For me, this includes:

• Being mindful of sleep patterns
• Recognizing when I need space
• Using CBD and THC gummies when appropriate to help settle my system
• Maintaining open communication with my husband about what I’m experiencing
• Staying in regular contact with my healthcare providers

The Professional Environment

One unexpected blessing has been finding stability in my professional role as an HR Manager at an ophthalmology clinic. The structured environment and clear boundaries of this setting have provided a steady foundation, even during turbulent periods. It’s reminded me that different environments can either trigger or calm PMDD symptoms.

Looking Forward

As I continue this medication transition, I’m trying to hold onto hope while being realistic about the challenges. I know there will be good days and difficult days. I know there will be times when I need to reach out for help or adjust my treatment plan.

But I also know that understanding PMDD better – how it interacts with rumination, how it affects relationships, how it responds to different treatments – has given me better tools for managing it. Each experience, even the challenging ones, adds to this understanding.

The Ongoing Journey

PMDD isn’t something you cure – it’s something you learn to manage. Some days that management looks like success, with symptoms well controlled and coping strategies working effectively. Other days it looks like reaching out to your doctor for medication adjustments or apologizing to loved ones for sharp words you couldn’t seem to hold back.

What matters isn’t achieving perfect control, but continuing to work toward better management while being compassionate with yourself along the way. It’s about recognizing that setbacks aren’t failures – they’re opportunities to learn more about what works and what doesn’t for your particular situation.

As I close this series, I want other women dealing with PMDD to know they’re not alone in this journey. Whether you’re just starting to understand your symptoms or working to find better management strategies, your experiences are valid, and your efforts to find balance are worthwhile.

Remember, advocating for yourself and your mental health isn’t selfish – it’s necessary. Keep reaching out, keep trying new strategies, and keep believing that finding your balance is possible, even if that balance looks different from day to day.

End of “My PMDD Journey” series